Archive for August, 2010

More sales bullshit

In decorating a room, my adventures with Monty Pythonesque salesmen (I know I should say ‘salespersons’, but all the ones this week were indeed men) continue. Yesterday was the carpet store, or rather warehouse.

Salesman:  Can I help you?
Me:  No, thanks, just looking.
Salesman: (oblivious to brush off) What are you looking for?
Me:  A natural fibre carpet, probably wool.
Salesman:  You want polypropelene.
Me:  No, I’m looking for wool. Which section are they in?
Salesman:   All our polypropelene is natural.
Me:  Natural polypropelene?
Salesman:  Yes. It’s all natural.
Me:  It’s for a kids’ room. I don’t want the emissions from artificial fibres.
Salesman:  Ah, polypropelene’s better then. Wool emits a lot of noxious stuff.
Me:  I don’t like artificial fibres. There’s the static electricity too.
Salesmen:  Wool’s worse for static.
Me: (sarcastically)  Is it really?  OK, but I wanted wool.
Salesman:  You’d be better with polypropelene.
Me:  Do you actually sell wool carpets?
Salesman:  Well, we’ve got some. But polypropelene’s better.
Me:  Where are the wool carpets?
Salesman:  We actually haven’t got that many here at the moment, because everyone prefers polypropelene.

Exit me, stage left. Ah, well. Today will be the lighting shop.


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Sales bullshit …

I went to buy a small TV with integrated DVD, and went to the John Lewis store in Poole, where I found the one I wanted, the Sony KDL-22BX20D, had risen from £269 last week to £299 this week. So I went to the Comet warehouse store at Fleetsbridge to check out 22” integrated TV / DVDs. The store had an appalling picture, fuzzy and covered with white dots on every TV, compared to the crystal-sharp TVs at John Lewis. This is my conversation.

Me:                   I’m looking for a 22” TV / DVD combination.
Salesman:      Goodmans and Ferguson. £179.
Me:                   No, I want a quality brand.
Salesman:      JVC?
Me:                  Maybe. Have you got a Sony?
Salesman:      Sony don’t make TV / DVD combinations.
Me:                  Yes, they do. I was just looking at one in John Lewis.
Salesman:     They don’t.
Me:                  Here’s the John Lewis sales token with the model number.
Salesmen:      Oh, yes. We don’t stock Sony because the DVDs overheat.
Me:                  You said Sony didn’t make them just now.
Salesman:      Well, they do. But they catch fire.
Me:                  I think Sony probably know how to make DVD players.
Salesman:     Anyway, Samsung’s the same as Sony. We’ve got Samsung.
Me:                  I don’t think it is.
Salesman:     Oh, yes. Samsung, Sony and Sharp are all the same.
Me:                  You mean they all begin with “S”?
Salesman:     No, I mean they’re all made in the same factory. They just have different badges on.
Me:                  I see. Well, thank you …
Salesmen:      Don’t you want one?

No reply. I was already walking towards the door.

* Footnote: In the end, I bought the Sony from Amazon, free delivery, £249, and had it before lunchtime the next day. I constantly bemoan the loss of shops with real people to Amazon, but some days you know why it’s happening.

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